Building Your Home Together and Improving Your Relationship

Building Your Home

So you’ve decided to find a permanent partner to share your life, love and your home.

As I look back at my quarter century marriage to my now retired submariner husband there were hard times and great times.

When my husband was at sea, I didn’t see it as a gift at the time, but now I am grateful that I was put in a position to have to learn to take over when he left.

This meant that I had to learn about how things worked like the heater, the car, and anything else that you can think of around the house.

When a widow, after many years of marriage, told me the other day that she wished she could write her husband a note to ask him where he left tools and other items, I knew it was important to get the word out that when you learn about what the other partner does, not only do you benefit from spending time with your partner, you get to learn the secrets of “where things are kept.”

This same lady also said that she was grateful that her husband insisted that she work with him because she got to know her house and him too, I suspect.

So as you start to build your life and your home together, keep in mind that your relationship to your partner is a lot like the one that you will need with your house.

You need to know how it is made and when it needs fixing and more importantly how to successfully fix it. Like relationships, your home needs maintenance and repair.

Owning a home is a privilege and an investment and the list of things to do is never ending.

Some people say that as long as they have something to do they will be around. If this is the case then owning a home will keep you alive for years.

Emergencies and some bills can be reduced by performing regular maintenance.

Roofs- can last for 20-30 years but checking for leaks, missing shingles and tiles, making sure that flashing is firmly in place are good steps to take to avoid problems.

Heating., AC, Kitchen appliances like juicer mixer should be cleaned and checked at least once per year. Filters on some systems will need to be changed more frequently.

Chimneys on wood burning stoves should be professionally cleaned one time per year and sometimes more.

While you are checking filters, check the water filters in the refrigerator and under the sink, and the fans to make sure that they are not blocked or clogged.

The frequency here will depend on your cooking and cleaning habits.

There are many other tips that I could offer and the list would be huge. Just remember spend some time learning what your partner does.

Not only will you gain confidence, you may just improve your relationship.

Lisa Bell lives in New England with her retired sailor. She currently teaches people how to live without their partners.

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